Hi there,

This year has been a tough one.

At the moment I feel like I am crawling into the Christmas period.

I’ve nearly done everything I set out to do for the year, but not quite. I have a to-do list as long as my arm and I’m feeling that low-level anxiety that you get when there’s too much to do and not enough time to do it.

Having talked with friends, I know I’m not alone.

One big event has been the hardest.

My mum has dementia. This year it has progressed significantly. Dementia is truly sh**ty.

If you’ve ever watched someone you love change into someone completely different, if you’ve ever had to step into the parental role for the person who raised you, you’ll know it’s one of the saddest, most stressful things you can go through.

I’m sandwiched between generations: teenage children who need me, and a mother I’m now trying to guide and care for.

And in the middle of all of that, there’s work.

Now, I love my work. I love working with my clients. It’s actually been a brilliant distraction this year, a place where I feel purposeful and in control. But I’ve learned a big lesson:

You can’t do everything.

And if you try, you will break.

The bucket problem

As leaders, we’re brilliant at this. We say yes to one more project, one more initiative, one more “quick win.” We fill our own buckets. We fill our team’s buckets.

Just this. Just this. Just this.

But here’s the thing: if you don’t release that bucket, if you don’t prioritise, simplify, and focus on what’s actually going to get the big results, at some point, there’s going to be a flood.

So many of us are stuck in this urgency trap.

I was. For several months I was running around, trying to do everything, stressed because I couldn’t ‘fix’ it all. My bucket was definitely overflowing.

Then I paused and took a little time. As soon as I did, I saw the important rather than the urgent. I could see other alternatives, I made choices and rebalanced myself.

I see this with my clients all the time. They’re working flat out, stuck in the urgency trap with no time to pause and think and focus on the important.

It starts with mindset

This is why I developed the Leader's Ladder, to help managers get out of this reactive leadership and back on to the front foot.

Because you can’t thrive as a leader without getting the foundations right. And the foundation is mindset, knowing the leader you are, the values that guide you, and how your work fits within the context of your life.

Think of it like a graphic equaliser. Different things get different levels at different times. But you have to be willing to adjust. You have to give yourself permission to ease off some things when life demands it.

That mindset gives you boundaries. And those boundaries? They’re your life jacket in this incredibly stressful world.

Once you're clear on that, it guides what you work on and how you work (your systems), which improves your influence, which helps you coach your team better.

But it all starts with mindset.

Here’s the reality check for 2026

If you think next year is going to be any different to this year, you’re kidding yourself.

If anything, with the rise of AI and the pace of change, it’s going to get harder.

But the leaders who are going to flourish, who are going to adapt to this massive shift and find a new and better way to lead, are the ones who get their mindset straight first.

They’re not reactive to events. They give themselves space and time to think, to plan, to make those priority choices, to spot the conversations they need to have.

They know what matters. And they let that guide where they spend their time.

If this challenge resonates with you, I’m launching a group coaching programme in the New Year.

It follows the Leader’s Ladder framework, helping you build that mindset foundation, develop the systems that give you back control, strengthen your influence, and become the kind of coach your team actually needs.

If you’re tired of feeling stuck and reactive, and you want practical support to actually shift how you lead you can find out more about it here.​

One more thing

Two weeks ago, I ran a mindset workshop called “Leadership Mindset Reset Workshop”

It’s a 90-minute guided session with time to think. It helps you get clear on your mindset, specifically your vision for yourself as a leader and asa result what boundaries need to be in place.

Several people reached out after it closed, saying they’d missed the window. So I’ve decided to leave the replay up for free through to the end of the year.

​If you want to start 2026 from a stronger place, click here to watch the replay.

My one piece of advice as we head into Christmas

Give your energy to your family, to your friends, to the things that really recharge you.

But before the year ends, take some time to reflect:

What will be different in 2026?

Not what you hope will be different. What you will do differently.

Because that’s where the power is.

Wishing you a peaceful end to the year,

Helen

P.S. I’ll have more workshops coming in the New Year to help you build on this foundation. Watch this space.