Hi there,

Let’s be honest—coaching an underperformer is one of the hardest things about being a manager. You don’t want to demotivate them, create tension, or make things awkward.

So, like many managers, you might put it off, cross your fingers, and hope things improve on their own.

But here’s the problem: they usually don’t.

And by the time you do step in, it feels like a big confrontation rather than a simple course correction.

The good news? It doesn’t have to be this way.

I always remember a manager of mine giving me the advice, that it was always better to face into the difficult conversations. This became so much easier when I went on a course and learned that coaching was a much more effective approach.

Coaching underperformance—which when done right—can actually strengthen your relationship with your team member instead of damaging it, and as you get better at it is so much easier to do.

So how do you actually do this?

Here’s a simple, four-step framework to guide these conversations smoothly—even with the most challenging team members:

1️⃣ Observe & Prepare

Before you even start the conversation, get clear on the facts. Instead of a vague feeling like, “Alex is always missing deadlines,” track specific instances: “Alex missed the client proposal deadline on Feb 3rd, the budget submission on Feb 15th, and the team presentation on Feb 28th.”

Data makes it factual. And facts take the emotion out of the conversation.

2️⃣ Approach with Curiosity, Not Judgment

This is the easiest way of starting the conversation off…

➡️ Start with an observation and follow up with a question

Don’t say “You’re not meeting expectations.” (This puts them on the defensive.)

Instead say “I’ve noticed the last three deadlines were missed. What happened here?”

When people articulate the problem themselves, they’re much more likely to take ownership of it.

3️⃣ Guide, Don’t Tell

Use the GROW Model (Goal, Reality, Options, Will) to collaborate on a solution:

Goal: What does success look like?

Reality: What’s getting in the way?

Options: What could be done differently?

Will: What’s the next step?

This transforms the conversation from criticism to collaboration.

4️⃣ Follow Up & Hold Them Accountable

Coaching doesn’t end with one conversation—it’s an ongoing process. End by setting up a follow-up:

“Let’s check in next Friday. What specific progress would you like to show me by then?”

This keeps things structured while showing them you’re invested in their success.

Want to see this framework in action? In this week’s YouTube video I break it down step-by-step. Watch it here​

Plus I’ve created a free Manager’s Coaching Guide to help you put it into action. It's got lots of question examples for you to try with the GROW framework in many different situations, from helping your team to create a development plan to managing conflict. This is such a valuable skill set to develop if you want to lead a high performing team. You can get it here.​

What's your biggest challenge when addressing underperformance? You can hit reply and let me know, I reply to every comment and might create a video addressing your specific situation.

Until next week,

Best, Helen

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