Hi there,

Imagine this: You've got a one-on-one starting in five minutes. You haven't prepared a thing. Your mind is racing as you frantically scroll through emails trying to remember what your team member is working on.

Sound familiar?

Well I have definitely been there; but here's what might surprise you, being unprepared might actually be the best thing that could happen to this meeting.

Why? Because most of us have one-on-ones completely backwards.

We think we need to show up with a perfect agenda, prepared questions, and ready for updates on every project. We feel like we need to run the meeting.

But the problem is that this approach makes the one-on-one about your needs, not theirs. Your team member ends up feeling tested rather than supported.

When you're unprepared, you can't do any of that.

And that's actually brilliant, because it forces you to do what you should have been doing all along - making it all about them.

Try This Instead

So here's what to do: Walk into that unprepared one-on-one and start with one simple question:

"What do you want to focus on today?"

This question completely changes the dynamic.

Instead of scrambling to fill the air with your agenda, you're immediately putting them in control. You're finding out what's actually important to them right now.

Once they tell you what they want to discuss, use the GROW framework to guide the conversation:

• G - Goal: "What would success look like for you here?"
• R - Reality: "Where are you right now with this? What's working? What's not?"
• O - Options: "What could you do about this? What options do you see?"
• W - Way Forward: "So what are you actually going to do? What's your next step?"

This coaching style of conversation helps someone move forward. And it works whether you're discussing a work project, a difficult colleague, or career development.

Of course, I'm not suggesting you should never prepare for one-on-ones. The best managers have systems in place so that preparation becomes quick and automatic. If you have regular, protected one-on-ones, you can afford to wing the occasional meeting because you've built that solid foundation.

Want to see this approach in action and get my complete system for running brilliant one-on-ones every time? I've created a detailed video walking through exactly how to handle this scenario, plus I'm offering a free One-on-One Toolkit with templates, question guides, and documentation systems.

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​Click here to watch the full video​

Remember, the next time you're walking into an unprepared one-on-one, don't panic. You've got this - just start by asking this fantastic question!

Helen

P.S. As ever, if you have any questions or comments? Hit reply and let me know, I’m here at the other end 👋

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